This may be offensive or traumatic to some audiences. This is not the intention of this post, rather that this post is a written expression of my thoughts on the issue.
I try to keep myself anonymous because of the pervasive threat to my livelihood and life if I talk about my experiences. As some people may know, I am a former believer of a certain religion. This religion tends to punish former believers of it with death. Ostracisation from these communities is commonly done as well, although that’s pretty much seen as a “light” punishment in the eyes of some.
With anonymity, especially with the measures that I have taken in recent years to protect my identity, comes with the fact that no-one knows your race. I’ve mentioned the fact that I’m a person of colour multiple times over the years, and it’s usually a surprise to the other party. I’ve received messages after the fact that include:
I assume you’re white if you aren’t spraying hard r everywhere
anyway if you were actually black you wouldnt hold it [at] such a high pedestal
It also discredits me from talking about my own issues with racism, based on assumptions made below.
The thing about race, especially online, is how people make assumptions, such as through names, spoken voice, etc. Even though I’m actually a non-white guy behind a keyboard, I based my name from a biblical figure (“Abel”) and from the Latin surname of an Arab philosopher (“Moarrensis”), people will just assume I’m white because it’s the obvious majority in the West.
Especially with politics, people just feel like going the easier or more “socially acceptable” route, which in my case, it’s calling me a racist. It’s harder to speak about your experiences when everyone’s shouting you down because of their own biases.
To set the record straight, a picture of my hand over a draft of this very own post. I am not posting pictures of my face for… quite obvious reasons.
A discernible amount of white people claim that they “listen to people of colour on race issues”. When this is said by a white person, I start to get cautious. I start thinking: “Is this person a white saviour, are they saying that to prove a point or are they genuinely trying to help?” In my experience, it’s usually to prove a point, especially to other white people. I’m tired of people trying to one-up each other in this shithole we call “Earth”, the minute we actually listen to each other’s experiences without having to brag about it to some airhead who doesn’t give a fuck, we’ll be in a better place.
I do not care if you’re an ally, I personally do not call myself that and neither should you. All I fucking ask is for you to listen with an open mind. I may have had different experiences to the other black people you have met, but it ties in to a wider problem. You can guess what it is.